Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Recapitulations A Place to Start From (Afloat in the world)

As I look back, thinking about my life my travels and poetry, I’ve been
       afloat in the boat, of  world travels per se, as long a time as I can
       remember, some fifty-years, or more!
Out in the cold, out of the cold!
More than once, stomach empty!
Dreaming! Following my dreams.
Talking to people who were not really listening, hence, wasting my time
       listening to their complaining, doubts, negativism…
On things they could change, but were not going to—
People duped, turning a blind-eye to this and that, because the truth didn’t
       fit into their reasons of failure to have followed their dreams.
But it all started one day, as everything has got to have a start, a first step, I
       said: “I don’t like being tied down, or anchored!”
The more I thought about it I said, “Minnesota is just a place to start from,
       not necessarily end.” 
I said to myself:
I want to see it all, the Andes, the Amazon, Cape Horn, Asia, Europe, War,
       Africa, the Artic, China, India; and the list goes on and on…!
Thus, Minnesota was a good place to start from, period!
I asked my second-self, “What is beyond the beyond,” that is to say, the
       hill in front of me, the ocean in back of the hill, the landmass at the
       edge of the ocean.
I cannot express the vastness of my outfall desire in adventure, travel, and
       the waves of my hands that swept to reach them places.
To circle the world.
My mind, thrilled at the prospect!
My spirit, save, if I lived long enough, to do it, I’d do it!
I always knew the world would be to a certain degree a nightmarish
       horror, in transversely —
That it was a place most people wanted to avoid, lest they go in groups as
       tourists, here and there, for safety reasons; I preferred  travel any-
       which-way, sole most of my days… And why not?
The world tugged at people, I knew this too, but it was not reason enough
       to stop me, it was man-made, let the bewildered and fearful, stay home!
You got to live life and not be afraid to! (but you better know how to fight!)
Had I stayed in Minnesota, I would have died idle and helpless long before
       I’d would have been able to write this, poetic prose… 
Drunken on my ass!
At an early age my mind was made-up, my neighborhood was no place for
       me, the way out was simple, I would leave and lean my head to fate,
       face fate…  Like a fish on a hook, if need be, and I’ve been on that            
       hook, believe me!
For just one person, the world was large enough I figured.
On a second thought: what would come, would come.
If there was something for me to find, somewhere I’d find it!
If others have traveled the world, why not me?
I was not going to be left behind!  Nor beg, one must not do that, lest he
       become unworthy of the world; and God’s angels to watch over  you.
Hence, I was wandering from one corner of the planet, to another, like my
       old grandpa, would pace back and forth from the porch to the kitchen.
I had found my resolve, at sixteen, and now at sixty-seven, it is no less
Traveling was simply, no more than a matinee at Harold’s for me, to
      present a simile.
I could pack up and leave in a moment’s time!
Yes, at times life was exacting: traveling the globe is not easy occupation 
You must quench your thirst, by and by, and take chances;
Go to where the few have gone: if not, if unquenched spaciousness
       envelops one’s life, squeezes, this is torment! For a man like me.
But if I had not gone to San Francisco, at twenty, I would not have gone to
       Germany at twenty-two, nor been in the Vietnam War, at twenty-three.
I would therefore, not have went on to college at twenty-seven, for seven
       years, and would not have written forty-seven books in thirty-four years, and acquired a number of degrees, to boot, a: Doctors of Honoris
Or become Poet Laureate of Peru! (that would not have been possible)
Nor would I have ventured into real-estate, and acquired a small fortune. And I could go on and on, but begging your pardon, it all started the day, I
      said, “Minnesota is a good starting place.”
It all started when my thoughts, my unuttered thoughts, sank down and
       dissolved to give place in other thoughts, and I moved on: liken to my poetry—slimly penciled in my darker sleep, penciled picturesquely into my
       cerebellum, only to be written out at a later date.  

And not wasting my time to all those people who were, talking,
       complaining, and not listening, nor changing, not wanting to listen to
       the things I was saying, had to say, not hearing  not encouraging the things I was trying to explain, as if they could not receive!
Yet still they talked on and on (perhaps still at the bar!)
Nonetheless, I confess I kept on writing, traveling, knowing if the fulfilment
       of life does not come to you, you go it it—
Yes, I told myself, I’ll die a poet, read or unread, and if I’m the only one
       that knows it, I still know it, for no matter what, that will have to be enough, that will have to do, for I have to scratch the itch that itches at my
And I learned not to mind what people think, it’s them that looks that
       finds. Plus, the majority of the time, whatever they’re thinking, isn’t what I think they’re really thinking at all.

Note: No: 5461/9-28-2014