Interlude
Vignette III
Tokyo Tower, Built 1957, model after the Eiffel Tower in Paris
The author went to its top, 1999
…
Three Women
(Or,
‘Cain’s Arrival’) 1980-1999
Opening
I have
always held women in high esteem, to be one of God’s most charming and
pleasurable creatures, and I do not speak from any narrow mindedness, perhaps
some gullibility in my younger day; I’ve been examining this for a long time,
with little conclusion to nat. It may sound a little like a cheap throw at
women in general, but in spite of anything I’m on their side, somewhat, —men
can be barbaric, and rude and boastful and prideful but with men, women can
figure them out after two shakes of the dice; women have too many sides and are
too chaotic for a man to figure them out; perhaps one woman to another, and the
devil and God can figure them out, and to be honest, women I do believe can
even at times trick the devil, but man lacks this ability for some odd reason,
my advice for him is to simply get out of dodge, forget revenge, or vengeance,
or payback, it has a boomerang effect, when used on a woman, in other words, it
doesn’t work, payback is hell.
How many times—I can’t count them—I’ve
escaped from their obliterating clutches, wanting to call this Godly creature a
menace, I held back, only in fear of God, since he created her for man. So all
this jibber jabber brings to mind three women I’ve never talked about, or wrote
about in any of my writings, thus, this is their debut. I don’t know why I
haven’t it’s been rather a blind spot of mine. And I mean no harm in this small
brief, or vignette.
As far as Donkeyland goes, it fall in
place perhaps the least of my writings, but it does have its place.
On another note, before I get into the
three women, my present wife, now for fifteen-years, has got to be a saint for
enduring me, for I am all those things I previously mentioned men have and she
over look them, I I’ve never got, she’s a woman! I keep waiting for the hot iron to hit the
anvil.
This of course is, and still is, the
trying periods in my life thus far, — long-term relationships with women that
is. Of course, when I consider all the days of my life, admirable as some were,
and I accept responsibility for making them otherwise at times, for demolishing
these three relationships, but frankly, I never derived much pleasure from them
mentally—when we add longevity into them, and so I cite them only to prove
there were other women I was involved with, who held some importance to me. I
will try to be as honest, frank, short and bold as I can, that is for a poet
saying something, and for a novelist, saying much.
The ability and will to pardon, says
Cicero of Julius Caesar that is the height of good fortune and a supreme
virtue, I do hope these women, hold no ill-will, and should they read this and
figure out who is who. And a word to the wise I’ll put it in a Haiku, right now
and here:
Know well the cunning
Nature of the flower be—
For you taste its fruit!
(7-9-2015/No: 4756)
Three Women
Sharon W., 1980 to 1986; Jean T., 1986 to
1992; and Kikue, 1996 to 1999.
With all three I wore the fig-leaf
suite. Somehow I was obliged to go with them for extended periods of time (combined, 19-years, take or give one or
two). Had I allowed it to
extend beyond those time periods I just mentioned, it would have introduced
what? Death! Which is a pity, on some
accounts, or mental anguish, or perhaps a breakdown, who’s to say.
With all three I liked the plunge, and
coolness of their beseeching ways. Sometimes I think God made women only for
scenery, like hippos and whale watching. When I broke up with them, I really
had no justification, but I chanced the danger in not breaking up. If not more
than that, I have not missed anything, yet Sharon was the good part of Adam’s
rib, once I was going to rent out a room from Doug in the Neighborhood,
Donkeyland for her, and had second thoughts, it would have been to daring, and
careless of me. Jean, she nearly strangled me with her obsessiveness, and
jealousy. Let me elaborate with Jean T., a moment, and try to put it in a
philosophical poetic phrase, so you’ll get the whole picture at one glance:
Be not jealous that you think
Every bird of the air
Will take your lover away from you!
Such jealousy will make you burn
Lose yourself restraint!
Give way to twisted small tales
Into tall tales.
People are more readily to believe
Evil than good.
(7-9-2015/No: 4757)
Need
I say more? And Kikue N., from Tama
City, Tokyo, Japan, at the last moment, was most uncomfortable. It was as if
she had taken a viper pill, and here I was seven-thousand miles away in one of
the largest cities in the world, feeling like I was being extorted mentally, to
having to stay in Japan; her family hating me without knowing me. I was on her turf now, having met her in
Turkey, several years before this trip to Japan, and to get to know her parents
before marriage I stopped in Japan for a week, she had visited America,
Minnesota, my home state several times we got along well, — but the apple
doesn’t fall far from the tree, as they say.
Don’t get me wrong, men I realize are
different than women, we think different, and we are different, but in this
case the difference was too big to overlook. The old saying, opposites attract
one another, may be so, but it’s not a comfortable life having to always try to
adjust, when you could have selected someone more compatible.
Sharon was fire, fine and noble,
educated; she couldn’t save the sick buzzard—me! But she tried. And Jean, was
often, too often the despondent lioness; I was advised by Denny one day, a
friend, when in need, said, “All I’ve ever seen you two do is fight, and I’ve
known you for two years.” But the sex was great, and that makes you overlook
things, what a man needs is a little more than pleasure. Denny was really
telling me, in essence, that I was too close to the forest to see whatever I
needed to see, —and he could foresee—the serpent of the tree had bit her in the
leg, and thus, I should avoid her, forevermore.
With all three—don’t get me wrong—I have
had many a multicolored times.
But often, too often, it was like riding
a horse all night long as fast as one can, hoping to clear the vicinity, only
to find, the backyard is too big….
As
I reread this, it sounds as if I have named, renamed, this story ‘Cain’s
allergies…’ something or another, instead of ‘Three Woman,’ but this is an
error in judgment, I simply come to the conclusion females have some of Cain’s
blood, most of them anyhow. I don’t want to generalize, so I say ‘Most’ not
all! They are akin to fish with big teeth, you put them in the water, they
sink, and when you try to save them, to snatch them out, they bite you. Hence,
I can never figure out or determine if it’s Monday or Tuesday with them, matter
of fact, they are a paradox, inconsistent, a puzzle, some, not all moody, but
trying to figure out which one, you end up in a spiral. And the perplexity of this, will never
diminish. So what do you do? My advice
is to watch the movie: “Fiddler on the Roof” where the Fiddler has a little
room to hide in on top of his house, extended out and above the roof, and when
his wife gets into one of those ecstatic, or frenzied moods, there he
heads.
No: 1041/2-21-2014
Revised and Reedited, 7-2015
