I want to talk about a subject that is seldom if ever
talked about—one I’ve thought about to write for a long time, and when talked
about, cursed and scorned, but in my many cases working with prison women and
men, this area I’m about to bring out, is less focused on, and it deals with
rape by men, and sexual provocation by women. Some women invite rape[i] (thus, even the Cardinal of Lima, confirms
this, not that he a psychologist, but a man of substance and scholar). You will not hear of this in the
polite circles of psychology, or sociology, or behavioral
science, because of motives that involve shame, or that anonymous doubt, these
women I’m talking about actually place themselves in vulnerable circumstances.
When I was a senior counselor working with dual disorders, and chemical
dependency, and working for a private freestanding hospital, Riverhills, in
Prescott, Wisconsin in the 1990s, I heard many fantasies from women, and of course
gradually they came from men likewise; inconsequence, some women fantasize
being raped. It is not so obtuse, Albert Camus writes about such a woman in his
short story “The
Adulterous Wife” on this every theme. What I gathered from his story was
that: if I’m being raped and I put myself in this odd situation, I have no
control over it, therefore, I need not have any guilt. This is an area hard to
give an accurate assessment, but women can provoke, if not by appearance then
by behavior, or by both. Actually,
William Faulkner brings this to light in his story: “The
Story of Temple Drake.” No matter which way you look at it he’s
committed a crime of course. We could get into suggestive evidence, in that the
person is capable of it, and in any way one looks at it, it is an atrocious
defilement from which the women never forgets, but like it or not some men are
helpless, and feel near cornered with certain kinds of ‘feminine subterfuge.’ Lest
we forget, women have the capacity to arouse a man, which we need not question.
And once his sexual motor gets moving, the sexual drive seems to outweigh
common sense. So what I’m getting at, is: rape is not always a simple power
trip, or an aggressive act preplanned, or a violent crime in the making,
although that may be the case, but it is not always so. When I say: it really has to do with sex,
people scream, mostly women that know very little about men, and that “It is all control, power.” I say, it has to do with sex in numerous
ways. Some men have little confidence in himself, he gets the girl high or
drunk, and for some reason he can’t get her aroused, thus he rapes her, why? Sexual need is the motive, not control, but
sexual fulfilment I do believe. The feminist movement will deny this of course,
that a woman can be seen as a sex object, or that a man will seduce a woman for
purely sex purposes. Hence, the feminist carry a lot of bunk, they don’t know
men then (men think different than
women, and are simply thinking like women when they say that…). Yes
to a certain degree women have been oppressed, and so the feminist uses that
for a symbol. Ask the question, why the
man doesn’t go to the bar, and find what he’s looking for in this sexual
revolution, or rawness? It would be easier to find a partner there. Some men feel under the power of the female,
this creates anger towards women. And nowadays, women have much more power than
they think: emotional, nurturing, and financial power, they don’t even need men
per se. And perhaps because of this, we are seeing more male impotence. Plus a
man worries how he’ll be judged by the woman, so he commits suicide, I had a
case once, the man felt powerless, took a gun went to his girlfriend’s house (when I was on vacation, so I couldn’t talk
him out of it, a second time), and
shot himself in the head in front of her.
I lived with that dismay for a longtime, and my colleges of course told
me: what could you do, you were gone. Thus, there is a backlash, or reaction to all of this. I also believe this backlash has something to
do with the increase of homosexuality, among men. My wife was unattached until
I married her at 40-years old, and she was by and large, harassed for being single. A lot of catcalls. On another note, I’ve been
a soldier eleven-years, eight active, three reserves, and seen signs saying
something to the outcome: “Chase me!” are that is not as abnormal as one might think. In Ann Rice’s books, years ago, I think now
she’s turned into a Christian, but she provided the reader with a world of
sexual possibilities, she was not kind to the female. To where they did weird,
and awful things, the women and men. The male needs to not allow himself to be
overstimulated sexually, he’ll find it much easier to relate to women as people
then. For some odd reason I had learned that, ever since I can remember. Even
on my many trips worldwide, being alone I’ve met many women whom have joined me
in many jaunts oneself saying: I wonder way they trust me, them saying, after
being asked: “I knew you were harmless,” well, be that as it may, what I am, I am,
and that is saying: you can have a female as a friend (evidently they have some senses we men do not know of), whom is not necessarily seeking a sexual
quest, and I’ve never felt in an insecure role of being anything but a man, and
men don’t take advantage of women, it’s a learned importance.
In ending this
essay or letter, or what have you, a theme of sorts, let me say I couldn’t sleep,
so what do you do, you do what you do best.
11-4-2016 /#1206 (4:30 a.m.)
