I have not done a story on cats for a long
time, did one several years ago, and there was nothing loving about it, and to
be frank, there is nothing here loving about it, so to be upfront, don’t read
this if you’re a lover of cats, because I’m not. So if you are asking: “Why is he telling a
story on cats?” Because there are other people in the world that do not love cats—like
me! This story is for them. It is kind of like Democrats and Republicans, we don’t
always get along but we got to live by each other. But before I tell this
story, I need to bring you up to date.
When I married my wife Rosa, she had fifteen cats. I never saw them, because she moved from
Lima, Peru to St. Paul, Minnesota for six years with me right after our
marriage, and they all fled to new owners—thank God—shortly after. And when I moved to Lima, in 2006, they were
all gone, another thank God, they didn’t return. Plus in our condo in the mountains,
we have no cats, a third thank God. Now, when I met my wife she had breathing
problems, asthma, is my best guess, she doesn’t anymore, not sucking in all
that flying loose cat hair. I do believe those poor little kiddy cats, we all
adore, turn out to be in adulthood, imp devil cats, they can’t help it. Okay,
now for the story.
I don’t know what kind of cat this was that is the protagonist of this
story, perhaps a Forest Wildcat, or a crossbreed of a polecat and wildcat, and
North American cat. It looked a little like what is called a Caucasian Wildcat,
it was no pussy cat I’ll tell you that. Now we must go back some years, let say
to 1959, I was twelve years old, and a Boy Scout, and my Scout Master took us
to St. Croix, Camping Grounds, for the weekend, we built two tents, several of
us to a tent. I had fallen to sleep
about 9:00 p.m., and it must had been sunrise when I opened my eyes, not
because I wanted to wake up but something obscure or something reproachful I
felt was happening: but what?
As I said I opened my eyes, I was mummified, a creature from Star Trek
was composed, sitting on my chest, looking at me. My brain was swamped on what
to do, and what it was, whence it come from, for what purpose had it, landed on
me, it was a monster, an alien cat, a non-terrestrial something. It was huge, with a vertebrate body, formed
like an elongated monster over my face, I was breathing in its mammalian carbon
dioxide. He was so close to my face, he had a shapeless head with the curving needle
tipped nose, like a mammoth insect. Not sure if it was a she or he (I think a she, they’re
more diabolic, just kidding, but who’s to say?) but whatever gender, it scared the
britches right off me. Why me? I asked
myself later. But for the moment, here was this vampire monster, I grabbed it
under its front forepaws, or forelimbs, its powerful ape like claws, or clawed
feet dug into my chest, and tossed it halfway across the tent, airborne like a
bat. It landed as if it was only on its second of nine lives, and gave me the
evil eye.
Anyhow I shuddered with repulsion. To this day, cats avoid me, I them,
they are a paradox to say the least and unconsciously perhaps I’ll like to make
them all into stiff jelly.
Note: Written 9-17-2016/#1154
